It's been a while and there's been a lot going on. But the reason I'm back today is one of the reasons I've been away.
Gram died. October 31. She was getting worse over the summer, bounced back for a short time, caught pneumonia one day and gone the next. It's been a heart-wrenching 3 year journey with the Alzheimer's, and I'm glad she is now at peace.
Lily met her twice, at 3.5 weeks and then a couple of weeks before Gram passed away. At the last meeting they really hit it off. Lily wanted to jump on Gram and play. They held hands and made faces at each other. The memory still makes me smile.
I was afraid I would totally freak out when I saw her at the wake, but I didn't. I thought I would totally fall apart at the funeral but I didn't. When I cried after the funeral, Lily tried to cheer me up by smiling and reaching for my face. Inside I still feel screaming and writhing agony that comes and goes. I've been mourning her for a couple of years as she's been slowly fading away. I'm glad I knew her before the Alzheimer's.
She has enriched my life, been the grandmother I couldn't have, and I've been able to do for her as I couldn't for my own grandparents. She will be very much missed, and her memory will live on through us.